HOOK ME UP! EXCLUSIVE CONTEST
Gator Pack Three: Alliflash Pack
No ARC, but nothing to cry about, either. This has the Fight the Fuglies Starter Kit containing: a personalized, signed copy of “Touched by an Alien”; a pen; a signed can of “Everhold”; all in an exclusive “Alien Tango” tote bag. Completing the ensemble are 2 cover flats for “Touched by an Alien” and “Alien Tango”, “Touched by an Alien” and “Alien Tango” posters, postcards, magnets, an Alien Collective baseball cap.
It's a pack you'll want to race out like a crazed 'gator on the hunt to get.
Question: You've got to tame the 'gator in order to make it out alive. What do you use, how do you use it, and what does the gator do when you do it?
(Not on Hook Me Up! yet? It's not too late to enter to win. Send an email to gini@ginikoch.com with "Hook Me Up!" in the subject line. We'll send you instructions. You'll get entered, and maybe you'll get lucky!)
I tame the gator with my sexy dance style. lol Oh yeah he is mesmerized!
ReplyDeleteNow I walk up to Gini and collect my winnings :)
Sheep Rule Matt Drools
I tame the gator by singing the Florida Gator fight song. Now I walk up to the gator and make him my pet so he can protect me from other gators.
ReplyDeleteI'll get my emergency copy of Effi Briest (by T.Fontane) out of my backpack and read it to the gator.
ReplyDeleteThe gator will probably fall asleep before the end of chapter 2, and if not, will probably do everything I want it to do, if I only stop reading from it.
I convert my mad skillz pen to a blow dart gun thingy. I whip up some home made tranquilizers with some Advil, "Everhold" hairspray, wildflowers and some illegal contraband that I "found" in my brother's man bag. I shoot the gator by using the pen insides as the dart and the tubing for the "blow" part.
ReplyDeleteWhile he is sleeping I fashion a saddle and reigns for him, tie a chicken to a stick, drape it in front of him and use him to take me home. Luckily the pool people were slackers and never finished that in-ground pool I was having installed - so I just fill the hole with water and let the gator live in my backyard. He definitely has put an end to those stupid high school kids that keep jumping my fence to reek havoc. {They peel the stickers off my swagger wagon and steal my garden gnomes}
Pheromones. Gator moans. I Throw the vial of chemical appeal-ants. Gator pursues. Gator finds vial. Vial and Gator set up housekeeping in Coral Gables. All is well.
ReplyDeleteTo tame the gator would use chicken flavored treats to award him when he is good, and a spray bottle tell him no when he is being bad. This process would more than likely take away, but once i have him tamed then i would use him as a guard gator to protect my prize from the rest of the Hook Me up fans.
ReplyDeleteTame a Gater? Give it a drink - brown liquor preferably - no ice and make it a double.
ReplyDeleteYou do that -- and you'll have a friend for life!
BOOM!
I would grind sleeping pills and sprinkle it on some raw meat. Then I will wait till the gator takes a nice long nap to make my escape.
ReplyDeleteOh, this one's easy: marshmallows. Alligators loooovvve marshmallows! I leave a trail and it becomes my minion - bwahahaha!
ReplyDelete(When I was a kid there was an alligator that lived nearby and everyone fed it marshmallows - true story :D)
@Parajunkee: haha love your idea.
ReplyDelete@Patti: Everyone loves marshmallows, watch you get gators and all the other animals in the area.
I sit the gator down amongst his family and friends. His aggressive outbursts have to stop. It's time for a GATOR INTERVENTION. The gator at first resists our pleas to reason, snapping angrily and denying he has a problem with acting out. It is when we begin touching on his long-held feelings of abandonment however, that we begin to make progress. His anger management issues won't be resolved overnight but everyone hopes he will at least consider moving out of his mother's lake sometime in the near future.
ReplyDelete(I can't believe I just wrote that.)
I put a muzzle on him! At first he reacted badly but calmed down when I gave him chocolate!!! lol
ReplyDeleteooh.. what would help tame a gator? That is a good question. I've got it. I have yet to meet an animal who does not enjoy popcorn. I would use B.F. Skinner's operant conditioning to train the gator it sit and stay using popcorn as my positive reinforcer.
ReplyDeleteI'd rent an old lady to feed the gator and after he just saw Lake Placid he'd recognise how good of an idea that is.
ReplyDeleteTo tame this gator I'll need peanut butter cookies, a harness with a leash and some elevator music(it must be elevator music playing rap music around an angry alligator is just a bad idea).
ReplyDeleteThe harness is used to keep him out of biting range, the gator doesn't like this at first but then he calms down as I throw peanutbutter cookies to him. I walk him around in the harness on the leash as elevator music plays. The music and the cookies seem to sooth him and eventually he likes to go on walks and I name him Gower the Gator.
@Becky mmmmmm peanut butter cookies....drool
ReplyDeleteSheep Rule Matt Drools
@shiori: haha a gator intervention sounds great!
ReplyDelete@Katie, yep peanut butter cookies are very drool worthy. :)
ReplyDeleteHuh that's a tough question: is a male gator? I will use my special 'gator fishing-rod and dangle the newest Playgator magazine in front of him and when he's enthralled by all the shiny naked scales I can easily move him around the way I want him to. And yes girls that work with men too.
ReplyDeleteFor the female gators I would use the same method and just switch Playgator with the new Gator's Secret catalog.
I may not be able to Thriller dance but man, oh, man can I 80's rocker groupie tear it up. Give me a wall and "Rag Doll" blaring and I'll have those alligators throwing dollar bills and nodding their heads to the beat. It isn't my fault, though. It's that song!
ReplyDelete@Katie, So sorry to ass bump you out of my way there. Don't get ate!
ReplyDelete@Becky, my cookies are better!
I have thought of something else to tame the alligator, caramel because it would maybe slow it down if it was in a bitey mood.
ReplyDeleteI would Bubba Smith gator role his bad self faster than you can say Police Academy. He would be so whipped by my mad skills he would be my lap gator for life. I would lead him around with his diamond collared bling and he would protect my winnings.
ReplyDelete@Amber, how do you know you haven't even tried my cookies, which are awesome especially when I buy them from a good store. :)
ReplyDeleteI take out my Droid X (because unlike an ipod it has external speakers) and I play him the song " under your spell" - the one from Buffy - the Musical sound track. While he is under my spell I let him know his name is Sweet Pea and he is my 'lay on' my feet and keep them toasty alligator. When he hears this he rolls on his belly for tummy rub.
ReplyDeleteThe power of a good song.
@dren - how you going to get the gator to drink the Brown Liquor?
ReplyDelete@patti - they have campfire marshmallows now... they are huge! I am sure your gator would love them.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I need a fugly kit BAD! Let's give a go at second effort to tame gator:
ReplyDelete(I was so very proud of my first effort that it's been hard to come up with a second)
As an English professor, I know what lulls students/gators to sleep. I'll just begin a lecture on T.S. Elliot. If my drone doesn't send said gator to look for the coachman, I'll just use an audio of Elliot himself. What a raging bore he was!
I'd make a sexy lady gator robot full of pheromones to attract the gator and make him do whatever I want :P
ReplyDeletePower of seduction! ;)
@Sharli: OoOH gator robot! Niiicee.
ReplyDelete@Sharli wow, I don't know if I should be awed or afraid of your potential to make a vast robotic alligator army.
ReplyDeleteGators are so gator-ish because they're damp and have no peripheral vision. (It's those top-of-the-head eyeballs!) I'd tame a gator with side-view mirrors and a hair dryer. Worked for me! :D
ReplyDeleteMMMM campfire marshmellows sound yummy.
ReplyDeleteTo tame the gator, i would put my AREC464 teacher in front of the gator and have him explain supply and demand curves to the gator. then zzzzzzzzzz. oh oops i feel asleep. while the gator is sleeping i would harness him and put a saddle on his back. once the gator wakes up i would ride him to Gini and receive my award.
tamed the gator by singing ABC's song and in that sing song voice and I was able to put it asleep. whoo hoo for the nap time. I would take a pic and send it to gini for the prize pack.
ReplyDelete@mattp
ReplyDeleteWell I think it might take you awhile to ride a gator anywhere. But I do like the use of a boring teacher to lull it to sleep.
@Marnie -- well first I'd soak one of Katie's sheep with a nice bottle of Jack Daniels and feed it to him. After munching on a couple of sheep, Gator will be feelin niiiiiice!!
ReplyDelete@becky,
ReplyDeleteit wouldn't take that long if i have something dangling in front of it that It wants. like a chicken, or one of katie's sheep, or katie herself.
@mattp, ah touche then I believe your plan may work and help get rid of some of the competition in the process. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd tame the gator using Majyk.
ReplyDeleteNope, nothing super-natural. That's what we named the cat that adopted us a couple of weeks ago.
I'd just scratch her belly until her ears cock back and she gets that weird demented look in her eyes, and then chunk her at the gator.
Poor gator won't stand a chance. Our cute little ball of fur can morph into a holy terror when she gets riled up... and I have the scratches to prove it :oP
Would've responded sooner but been down with the flu (or something). Just hand over the prize pack or I'll have to cough on you ;o)
Ohhh... and I promise that if I win, I'll only use the pen for the forces of good; no stabbing people at conventions :o)
ReplyDelete@mattp har har...gator was defeated last week by my sheep. ;) You all keep going on and on for no reason.
ReplyDeleteSheep Rule Matt Drools
@Katie,
ReplyDeleteActually i think it was defeated a week ago with my chicken flavored treats.
@Katie, @mattp well then, maybe it's now a ghost gator.
ReplyDeleteI'm now voting to feed my co-worker{s} to the gator. Who needs a sheep and chicken flavored treats when they can have a club girl dolled up in Juicy? It might be a bit mean - but it's for the greater good right?
ReplyDeleteI'll probably mesmerize the gator with my awesome vampire powers and feed on him! Gator blood is a delicacy =D Yum!
ReplyDelete::::looking at the crowd of book bloggers::::shaking up a bottle of Jack Daniels:::::spraying it on the crowd.
ReplyDeleteMy gator is feelin nice and smooth right now....:::whistelin with two fingers:::
Come and GET IT BOY!!!!!!
I sit calmly as I watch my tame and slightly drunk gator munch on the competition. Blood, Gore, Screams. Music to my ears. I love it when a plan comes together :)
@matt why are we now putting me in front of the gators? hmmm? You know I just got back from FL last night and now I am friends with ALL the gators. :)
ReplyDeleteSuck it! lol
Sheep Rule Matt Drools
Well, the 'gator is actually injured, which is why it's all agressive and whatever, because it had a horrible childhood and has feelings of rejection and resentment and alienation.
ReplyDeleteI would nurse that 'gator back to health, and teach it that not all people are jerks, and we could sit around watching action movies and bonding. (We'd also watch The Breakfast Club, too, but 'gators don't admit to watching films like rhat.)
By the time my 'gator was healed, we would have forged a friendship to last the test of time, and I would totally dig a moat around my house, where my 'gator bestie could scare my neighbours and eat all the people who leave propaganda in my letterbox at election time.
And we would all live happily ever after. The end.
@felinophile, Nice I've always wanted to have a moat and the gator to get rid of junk mail and annoying people would be really handy.
ReplyDelete@marty - I was worried there for a minute about the kitten - but I have one of my own that could take on the gator too -- we named him Ares (the god of war)
ReplyDelete@felinophile - Just how exactly are you going to get close enough to the alienated agitated alligator to nurse him back to health...well I was just wondering.
@becky -I really like the way you think.
@felinophile,
ReplyDeleteI really like how you think.
@matt
ReplyDeleteYour such a suck up. lol
Sheep Rule Matt Drools
@Katie,
ReplyDeleteAnd your not?
I'll chuck gobstoppers to the gator - only way he wont be able to take a bite out of me and it will take a very long while to chew those babies!
ReplyDelete@matt um duh I am the Queen of suck up. lol But I embrace my suck upness. :) And sorry but there is only room for 1 and Gini loves me, not you. :P
ReplyDeleteSheep Rule Matt Drools
Well you should be sucking up to the random number generator. :)
ReplyDelete@MarnieCollette: Chickens. Lots of chickens. Alligators like chickens, right? They'd be dead chickens, not live ones, but I'm sure they'd still taste great. To aliigators, I mean. Not humans. Obviously.
ReplyDelete@Becky: it would be, wouldn't it?
@mattp: thanks